21 July 2010

You're my Daddy!!!!

As BP continues its clean up efforts in the gulf, let's stop for a moment to remember that, year after year, decade after decade, there are worse things than oil on the beach.  Thousands upon millions of them, it seems, and not a protest or cry out for a clean up in sight!  Reminds me of the time I went to St. Maarten and the guys in the group we were traveling with thought it would be a fabulous idea to hit the nude beach over on the French side.  They were expecting the Playboy Mansion, they got the all nude, all gay, all German retirement home.  I laughed my fucking ass off.  Especially, when I saw the guy in the beach chair with the dollar bill and the fishing pole and then after the trip when I emailed zoom shots taken from behind of those poor naked, baggy assed, droopy balled saps silly enough to believe they'd just found half the price of a happy hour beer on the beach.
Good shit, Maynard.
I received these from my 79 year old,  doctorate holding, silver haired, university professor of a father this morning.  Yes, I got my sense of humor from him.  In spades.  My poor mom...she tried.
The gulf disaster sucks saggy, German, dollar chasing ass, but we can still have a laugh.  Just ask Darth Wader.
What do you think?
Lelu Dallas called.  She wants her bathing suit back before you get pecker tracks and Crisco ALL OVER IT!
Trip to Hedonism, $1,000...
Size XXXXXXL Bikini from the Wal-Marts:  $40
Look on Josh's face when he realizes NONE of the women look like they do in the brochure:  Priceless.


Hell, Yeah!!!  That mullet is BAD ASS!!!  Dwayne, you're grounded!

Dickie do, dickie do, dickie do...

Dickie don't....

Ah, yes, small children...the perfect beach snack.  They come with their own handle.  Convenient and flavorful.
Thought that looked like Lake Michigan....

German.  So fucking German.  Got the Brat, now all they need are beer steins and swastika armbands.

I would kill your grandmother to have 1/100th of this hottie's self -confidence.  Awesome.

Chewie, is that you?
P.S.  How wrong is it that I REALLY want to grope those moobs?

Dude, seriously...they're melting...like ice cream cones...no shit, it's that fucking hot out here!

Why the hell not?

It's all in how you look at things, you know?
Now, go have an awesome fucking day!!!

He could spank you from across the room.  How totally hot is that?

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